A Dose of Reality
by gawilliams
Summary: Based on 47 Seconds Promo.  Castle needs to confront Beckett after Gates talks with him.
1. Chapter 1

_I thought about this after watching a promo for the upcoming 47 Seconds. I wondered what would happen if Castle tried severing the partnership and friendship in the aftermath of what happened. This is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Captain Victoria "Iron" Gates knocked on the door of the apartment that she had come to that afternoon. She still couldn't believe that she was doing this, but she was honest enough to admit that something had to be done or the NYPD would likely lose one of the best detectives it had, and the team that had developed around that detective. That simply couldn't happen. Before even a minute had elapsed the door swung open.

"Captain Gates!" Rick Castle said, stunned at who was at his door. He had figured that either Espo or Ryan were there to try and find out what the Hell had happened and why he was bailing on the team.

"May I come in?" Gates asked.

Castle was not overly fond of Gates, but she was being polite and she had earned the right of his courtesy, so he ushered her in.

Gates took on the very nicely appointed loft, and wondered, not for the first time, if this is what it meant to be wealthy. Nice home, good clothes, and not a care in the world. She knew it wasn't all there was to it, by far, but Castle made it seem so easy. She turned to face the man.

"If you don't mind I'd like to talk to you," she told him, noting that even at home the man was dressed well, as if he was always in such high end clothes. She could see what women saw in him when it came to looks and appearance.

Castle raised a brow. "Of course," he replied. "My office?" he suggested, in some ways loving that as he was able to finally have the home field advantage with this very domineering, but effective, woman. He may not like her too much, but he could respect her as a good Captain.

Gates walked into the office behind him and whistled in appreciation. "Now this is an office," she admired. The walls lined with books, a flat panel screen hanging down in one corner, a large modern style desk, laptop, and pictures of his family in very obvious spots.

"One of the perks of making a living at home," he quipped.

Gates took a seat after Castle sat down behind his desk. She noted the change in posture as she was the one in someone else's domain. "May I ask you a question and get a straight answer?" she asked.

Castle was pretty sure what was coming, but the fact that it was Gates asking and not Lanie, Esposito, or Ryan was what was shocking him. "Alright," he nodded.

"Do you plan on coming back?" she asked.

"Honestly? I seriously doubt it," Castle told her honestly. He'd put a lot of thought into this, and while he loved Beckett as much as ever, he was too hurt and bruised to feel like making the effort again. He'd tried after last summer, but Beckett had made a fool of him after all the hard work of getting to where they were just a few short weeks ago. His trust was shattered and he didn't know if he could get it back. "Frankly, Captain, I'm surprised you're even asking, given how you've been entirely negative on my being there from the first."

"You think so?" she questioned. It wasn't surprising that he thought so as he didn't know her real motivation, but it stung nonetheless. "My top three homicide detectives are floundering without you involved as a part of the team, Mr. Castle. It's true I was not sanguine about the idea of you being a part of my precinct, but I'm not so hidebound as to not realize what it was you bring to the table. I was giving you the chance to prove yourself, Mr. Castle, without the safety net. Everything you got this past eight months by way of being allowed to stay and contribute you earned. I may wonder sometimes about you, but you've earned the right to be there as a civilian consultant. Roy Montgomery was ordered to make room for you, but I made you earn it, even if you got the foot in the door because of the Mayor."

Castle was floored at that one. It seemed to imply that Gates didn't mind him being a part of the team after all, but her tone had been grudging, as if she had done it out of fairness, but not necessarily because she wanted to. Oh, well. "Thank you," he replied, "but I'm still not seeing why you're here."

"Beckett, Esposito, and Ryan need you, Mr. Castle," Gates got to her point. "You make them see outside the box, and have made them better detectives since they see the usual boundaries, which they're taught, and commanding officers like myself insist on. You, however, don't think that way. The job gets done quicker and more efficiently, even if they have to finish crossing all the t's and dotting all the i's afterward. The one thing they need is you, and you're not there. So I'm going to ask you something personal, and as it affects everyone I'd appreciate an answer. What has happened between you and Detective Beckett? What has caused you to turn your back on your friends?"

He sighed, letting his eyes roll back. He didn't want to discuss it. He wanted to be able to wallow in peace, but that wasn't going to happen. "Last year when Beckett was shot I told her I love her, but when she woke up she said she didn't remember," he replied. "I accepted her apology for shutting me out for three months, but she told me to my face she didn't remember what had happened at the shooting. Three weeks ago I came by the station to ask Beckett if she wanted to go to a show. She was in the interrogation room and I went into observation to wait for her. She got upset at something the suspect said and told him _**I got shot and remember everything**_. I believed her Captain Gates when she told me she didn't remember. Now I don't know what to believe and have a difficult time trusting anything or anyone."

Gates leaned back and looked at the man. She didn't like what Beckett had obviously done, but at the same time she had a precinct to run. Ordinarily she didn't like the idea of office romances, and would put the kibosh on it quick, but the case of Castle and Beckett called for bending the rules as they were much better together than apart.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest, Mr. Castle," Gates said finally. "Grow up. Beckett has some serious demons to work through, and there may be a damn good reason for what she did. It doesn't excuse it, but it sure as Hell allows her some latitude. At the very least she deserves to be heard. You aren't under my command when you're out of the precinct, but I think you respect the work that we do too much to let petty pride get in the way of doing some real good for the community. I am asking you to hear her out, and to come to the precinct and help us. You may be a civilian, but you give us a fighting chance to get the job done with the least damage to the people we serve."

Castle was surprised at the tone. And the words. But he couldn't argue with them. The truth was that he missed everyone, including Kate. If it was to end, then it needed to end with the whole mess aired out. "Alright, I'll consider it," he told her.

"I can't ask for more, but don't take too long," Gates said as she stood up. "I need my best people on top of their game."

Castle walked her out and then went back to his office and clicked on his murder board containing the information he was working on. He was still pursuing Beckett's Mom's case. Damn! The cold hard reality was that he still loved Beckett. He was also miserable without seeing her everyday, or talking to her on the phone, or texting her. After the first few days she had stopped trying to get a hold of him and was leaving him alone. Tomorrow. He'd go in tomorrow. He was going to face this tomorrow, but he definitely was not looking forward to the conversation with Beckett.

_A/N: There will be one more chapter to this one in which he confronts Beckett, and possibly another chapter after that. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm shocked, yet very honored at the incredible response to the first chapter of this one. Thank you to all who reviewed and also everyone who read this story. The alerts are still coming in and it is very gratifying. This is part one of the confrontation. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

It was five in the morning and Castle was walking into Captain Gates' office. Gates was waiting for him. He'd called her the evening before and told her he was going to do as she asked, but he needed to speak with her about something important before he could talk with Beckett. She knew how early Beckett would usually come in, so, reluctantly, she told him to be in her office at five in the morning. Castle was wide awake and holding an oversized carry cover in his left arm.

"I hope this is important, Mr. Castle," Gates told him directly. "I don't mind getting up so early when it's necessary, but that doesn't mean I like it."

"I think you need to see this before I talk with Beckett," Castle explained. From the cover sleeve he pulled out a custom made, oversized tablet computer. This one had a 17 inch screen instead of a ten inch one like an iPad. He'd paid a fortune to have this one made for him, but he wanted to be able to have something that would make his murder/plot board portable, but at the same time more functional than a simple 10 inch screen. A 17 inch screen had been a must. He set down the tablet on Gates' desk and turned it on. Tapping an icon his murder board detailing his investigation and links on Johanna Beckett's murder came to life on the high definition screen.

Gates' eyes widened. She took in the entire thing at a glance, and then her eyes narrowed as she realized what this was. "Is this what I think it is?" she questioned, having to make sure.

"My own detail work on Johanna Beckett's murder," Castle confirmed.

Gates tapped an image and a detailed accounting of that link popped up in a side box. Tapping one of the statements in the box a cascade of documents and pictures appeared on the screen, still linked back to the original. She took a moment to flip through the documents.

"I was under the impression that Beckett had told you to leave this alone and that it would not be worked on until later on," Gates stated.

"I never told her I would leave it alone," Castle told her unrepentantly. He backed the linkage to the original screen. He tapped another icon and an MP4 box showed up. "I received this phone call after the first case back with the Precinct. This is why I convinced Beckett to put the investigation on hold."

Castle tapped the the first icon in the box and that original conversation played out. He remained completely stoic despite the anger he felt at the whole situation that that phone call had brought about.

Gates regarded the man in front of her after listening to that call. She had to admit, he had balls. He got Beckett _**out of**_ the line of fire, but placed his own life _**right into**_ that line of fire by continuing the investigation on his own. Her grudging respect for the man began to grow.

"This is very good work, Mr. Castle," Gates told him, looking once more over some of the items. It was one of the very rare instances where she had actually complimented him, but there was no getting around the fact that this was superb investigative work. "The question I have is why are you showing me this?"

"Because if I speak with Beckett to try and resolve this, then I need to be honest with her and tell her about this," Castle replied, gesturing at the murder board. "You came to me yesterday about something that is affecting the work of the precinct. This will, too, and not in a good way if Beckett reacts like I think she will. I thought it fair to bring you in on this."

Gates pondered this. He was right, and she wanted to knock him over the head with something heavy to get his head out of his ass. She knew he may not have been able to tell Beckett about this, but he could have come to others, like Ryan and Esposito, or even her, despite the fact that she was, even now, still skeptical of having a civilian in the precinct. She decided to make this simple.

"Make this right, Mr. Castle," she ordered him. "No evasions, no tricks. You may be mad at her for what she did, and I sympathize, but she has a right to be mad over this given the time and effort invested even before the shooting. When she gets in I'll order her to talk with you, and listen to what you have to say without interrupting, but that's all I will do. What happens after that, you're on your own. Understood?"

"Yes, Captain," Castle replied, knowing that she was right.

"Now walk me through this," she told him, gesturing at the portable murder board. "I want to be brought up to speed."

"On an unauthorized investigation?" Castle was shocked, but was smart enough to not make a smart ass comment.

"I've been in this game a long time, Mr. Castle," she told him firmly. "I know when to make an unauthorized investigation official. This won't see the light of day until the time is right. You have my word on that. But you're talking about my best detective here. That makes it my business. Now, if you please?"

An hour and a half later Castle left her office and went, with his murder board, to the break room and sat down, staring somewhat seriously at the blank tablet screen. He had to mentally prepare for this. It would likely not be pretty, and he had no idea how it would turn out. Sighing deeply, he took a sip of espresso.

Kate Beckett walked off the elevator and made her way to her desk. One more day of being miserable. One more day of espresso from the machine in the break room instead of hand delivered coffee from Castle. One more day of realizing that she had royally screwed up. One more day of her and the boys not solving cases as quickly as before. Yes they were solving them, but not like before.

"My office, Detective," Captain Gates said from her office door.

Beckett moved to Gates' office and did a double take as she saw Castle in the break room. Wanting nothing more than to rush in there and try and salvage the mess she had made, she went to her commanding officer's office.

"Yes, Captain?" she asked.

Gates regarded the woman in front of her. "You have a problem, Detective, and he is in the break room waiting for you," she told her. "I am ordering you to listen to him and don't interrupt. This gets resolved today. Understood?"

Kate felt like a teenager being chewed out by the school Principal. "Understood," she replied.

"Dismissed," Gates said, her tone allowing for no debate or comments.

Kate walked out of the office a bit nervous about what was going to happen. It had taken her all of an evening to figure out what had happened three weeks ago, but when she had she'd been horrified. Then the reality had set in when he refused to answer her calls, didn't come in to the station at all, and left orders with his doorman not to let her into his building. She may have thought her reasons for not letting him know she remembered were sound, but in hindsight she knew they were excuses to avoid an issue that had scared her for a long time. Not that she was scared of Castle, but that she was scared that if she made him her one and done, and it didn't work out, then she would be more shattered and damaged than when her Mom had died. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the break room and closed the door.

"Hi," she said with as much normality as she could muster, which wasn't much. She noticed the oversized tablet computer on the table in front of him.

Castle looked up, startled to find that he hadn't noticed her come in. "Before I say anything, I will remind you my safe word is **_apples_**," he told her, not wanting to inject humor into this, but at the same time wanting to project a bit of safety. He knew what she was capable of, after all.

"Okay," Kate said slowly.

"You lied to me," Castle said bluntly. "On something that was far too important to let it go as something spur of the moment or in the heat of all the drama. I came back here because you told me you didn't remember what had happened when you were shot, and that you needed time before you could be ready for a relationship. I understood that, and believed that."

"It's true," Kate said quietly.

"I also came back because I believe in what we do here," he continued as if she hadn't said anything. "Alexis told me during the bombing case a few weeks ago that despite all the awards, straight A's and all the kudos she's received over the years, the work she's doing with Lanie is the first time something has meant something to her. It's how I feel about this work. My writing, and the money I get from it are nice, but in the grand scheme of things, it falls short compared to what is done here."

Castle took a deep breath. Then continued.

"I know not everything that's happened between us in the last four years is your fault. I've done my fair share of damage, but I never deliberately did something to hurt you. My Mother said a person can't just turn off love at the flick of a switch. I finished the bombing case and left because she was right. I don't think I've ever been that hurt, Kate, as when I heard what you said."

Castle looked up and saw that Kate looked deeply ashamed. He felt some small, petty sense of satisfaction at that, but he needed to be honest, too. It was a two way street.

"But I haven't been entirely honest with you, either," he told her. He moved a hand over and tapped the screen on the tablet. The murder board popped to life. He heard her gasp, the sound having one of definite anger as she could tell from one glance that it was more complete than her old murder board. He tapped the MP4 icon and the call came through the speakers. He let it run through. "I received that right after we began digging again when I first came back. I decided to keep digging, but with you out of the line of fire."

He looked up and saw anger in her eyes. He knew she was pissed, and he couldn't blame her. He had his own anger, and knew it was similar to hers. Castle sat there and waited for her response.

_A/N: There's the set up for the back and forth between them which will be the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one. I incorporated a small bit from _47 Seconds_, namely that he finished the case and also his mention of what Alexis had told him in the pancake scene on the episode. The next chapter should be ready in a day or so. Gregg._


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the seemingly long delay on this chapter, but a lot has been happening lately, and while I did put in some other stories and odd chapters, this one was one I needed to take some time on to get it right. I hope the wait was worth it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Kate looked at him, her glare piercing right into his countenance. She saw that he didn't flinch, but that didn't earn him any points. She took a breath and then spoke.

"You spend the last three weeks angry at me over a lie, which I admit to, but you spend as much time in a lie yourself?" she questioned. "You selfish, egotistical bastard! This is the second time you've stuck your nose in on my Mother's case! The worst part is that this time you convinced me to back off and then I come to find out that you've been working on it without me? How dare you!"

Castle didn't react outwardly. What could he say that would right his own wrong? But he couldn't let something pass without correction.

"I never said the investigation was over," he told her. "Someone had to continue, and I was not about to see you die a second time!" He paused, calming just slightly. "I was under the impression that we were finally on the same page, even if the long term timetable could have been better, but then I find that you remembered and directly lied to me? You think I betrayed you, but what about the reverse? I've done everything I could to show you how much you mean to me without saying the words because you weren't ready. But now I wonder if you were even talking about us at all on the swings. Were you? Because the lie sure as Hell implies otherwise."

"Don't turn this back on me!" Kate rejoined. "You got to be pissed off, so now it's my turn."

"Pissed off about someone loving you enough to try and keep you alive and breathing?" he asked. "That's weak, Kate, even for you."

Outside the break room three people were staring at the door, and not wanting to imagine what was happening, but glued to it anyway. The shades were closed so they couldn't see in. Gates was wondering if this had been a good idea now that it was happening, while Esposito and Ryan were curious to see if Beckett kicked Castle's ass. All three were hoping that it all turned out alright.

"I won't have to file charges of assault on Detective Beckett, will I?" Gates questioned.

"Nah," Ryan replied. "She loves him too much. But she may cause him to yelp out his safe word a few times."

"Safe word?" her brows rose, almost not wanting to know.

"_Apples_," Ryan and Esposito said in unison.

"_**APPLES, APPLES, APPLES!**_" they heard from the break room at that exact moment.

"Weak?" Beckett questioned incredulously as she squeezed hard on his ear lobe which she'd grabbed mere seconds before, causing him to squeal his safe word. "You called me weak? I got shot and flat lined twice! I woke up feeling like my entire chest had been caved in and a herd of elephants was sitting on top of me! I saw my best friend and boyfriend of the moment squaring off! And you call me weak? You? The guy who has the bedroom name of _Kitten_?"

She let loose of his ear and sat down hard across from him, glaring.

Castle held onto his aching ear lobe and muttered a curse at the lame nickname he was stuck with and that Kate always whipped out so casually. Hardly a macho moniker! Kitten! Why not something like Stud Muffin? Or maybe Master Blaster? But no. He had to get stuck with _**Kitten**_!

"So what are we going to do?" he asked finally when he felt that he could talk without saying something. He didn't like arguing with Beckett, even when he felt justifiably angry and hurt over her actions at times. Times like when she was dating Demming and he had run for the hills, so to speak, by escaping to the Hamptons with Gina, though he had tried to invite Beckett, to be fair.

"_**Kitten**_?" Gates asked Ryan and Esposito, a brow raised. "Pet names for each other?"

"One of Castle's ex-wives, I think, gave him that one," Ryan supplied. "He hates it with a passion."

"Well he is rather whipped, so it fits," Esposito added. He held up a hand and turned his head to Ryan. "Still more whipped than he is, Bro."

Gates was taking in everything, learning the interactive boundaries that her best team had. She noticed that even though the three of them were paying attention to what was happening in the break room, Ryan and Esposito were still paying attention to the work being done around them, and also to their own tasks. Roy Montgomery had taught them well, and Beckett was a very effective leader she was beginning to see much more clearly. Gates had never imagined taking time to effectively eavesdrop on what could be described as a personal matter, but she was fascinated by this group. They turned all that she had believed for years about group dynamics and effective leadership on its head. She would have to be giving this group some serious thought, and also how she would lead them in the future.

"Keep me informed of their progress," she told them as she made her way back to her office. No matter how curious she was, she had work to do and it wouldn't wait on her interest in what was going on in the break room.

"How about honesty," Kate said with a sigh. The fight had left her, if it had really been there in the first place. He had good reason for doing what he did, and she could understand it, but it still was very raw within her.

"Okay," Castle said, relieved that she seemed to be calmed down. His ear lobe hurt like Hell, and he could only imagine what she would latch onto the next time he pissed her off. It wasn't something he wanted to experience first hand. "Were you talking about you and me when you talked about relationships on the swings?" he asked.

"Yes," she told him firmly.

_A/N: I know it is placing my life in jeopardy by breaking it off here, but I wanted to break the scene into two halves, one the fight, and the second one the honesty between them with a resolution. I should be posting the next chapter the day after tomorrow after I finish polishing it. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for the wonderful response to the third chapter to this one. I hope that this new chapter keeps your interest level up. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Castle sighed in relief at that word she had just uttered. It gave them a chance. No matter the anger and hurt, she had admitted to talking about them when they were on the swings.

"Then why lie about remembering?" he asked. The anger and accusation was not in his tone, though it was hard to let go all the feelings of betrayal and hurt.

Beckett ran through all the possible responses she could give, ranging from feigning innocence and not really knowing why, to the overly emotional one of being too caught up in being overwhelmed at his declaration and the aftermath of the previous several months. Neither of those, or any in between that she could imagine were good enough. They had agreed to honesty in this, so she had to give him just that.

"Because I was too damn scared that what I was feeling at the time would ruin us," she admitted. "I was in a tailspin, Castle. I didn't realize it yet, and wouldn't for some time, but I was trying to battle PTSD on my own and losing. I was still too focused on my Mom's case, and wasn't sure if after what I did to you we could even work together again. I know we were going to try, and we really began talking, but I wasn't ready."

Castle had done a mountain of research on PTSD when she had been shot, and even more when she was back to work and was having some real problems. Not only did it create deep personal issues that were potentially debilitating, it also skewed a person's judgment to a large degree. Something deeply positive could appear frightening and dangerous. There was a lot more attached to it, but he could see what she was talking about.

"You could have at least talked to me about it," he said somewhat lamely. "I would have been more than ready to wait for as long as you needed."

"But I didn't want to be unfair to you," she told him. "_Yes, Castle I love you, but you have to wait until everything is right in my mind_? How would that sound after avoiding you for several months?"

"A lot better than making me feel like I was being strung along like I did when I heard you tell that suspect you remembered everything," Castle couldn't resist putting that one out there, regardless of how hurtful it sounded.

"I guess I deserved that one," she admitted, lowering her eyes to her interlocked fingers.

Silence reigned for a bit while they both thought about what had been said. This was not an easy conversation, despite the near shouting at each other a little bit before.

"Why did you keep this from me?" she asked, gesturing to the portable murder board. "Contrary to what may have been the case when Montgomery was killed, I am not interested in becoming a martyr.

We could have discussed this and I would have agreed to hold off on this. I may have lied to you, and I'm truly sorry, but you also lied to me."

"A lie of omission," Castle nodded.

"But still a lie," she replied.

"I didn't want you to get hurt," Castle told her. "I know you can get hurt in the everyday aspects of the job, but this was different. This was a cold case that posed a distinct threat to your life. It's one thing when we have enough evidence that can't be swept under the rug, but as it stands now it's too dangerous. I got you out of the line of fire, Kate, and I won't apologize for that."

Kate tried to process what he was telling her. From the sound of it it was everything she had ever hoped to hear from her true one and done. He cared about her more than anything else and was willing to risk her anger and potential hatred to keep her safe. She decided to drag this back even further, in many ways to the beginning of this very serious falling out. At least from her personal point of view.

"Why did you take Gina with you to the Hamptons?" she questioned.

"Huh?" he asked, a bit shocked at the ancient history being asked about.

"For me, Castle, a lot of what we are having trouble with now stems from that," she told him. "I know you escaped to there because I was with Demming, and you were hurt. But why did you bring your ex-wife?"

"In hindsight?" Castle asked rhetorically. "I have no clue, but at the time I was really hurting. You seemed more interested in working with and being around Demming than your friends and me. I had for some time been trying to show you my better side and you went running to him instead. When I decided to go for broke and ask you to the Hamptons and you turned me down, I realized that I had waited too long. I just needed someone to spend time with and try and get a bit of stability back. Gina called wanting to spend some time with me and try to get a new draft completed on the next novel. It seemed like a perfect solution."

"God, Castle, we're a bad comedy," Beckett chuckled. "I had broken up with Demming that very day and was going to tell you I would go with you and then Gina showed up."

Castle closed his eyes and mentally cursed to himself. "And then you got together with Josh," he said in a mumble, though it was clear enough for her to hear him.

She cringed. She had done out with Josh a couple of times that summer, and nothing had happened, but when Castle had come back and was still with Gina she had thrown herself into dating Josh and didn't look back. Even when she knew that it was a mistake, and that she should end it, she hadn't.

"Well, we both made mistakes on the relationship front," she admitted. "The question, though, is there enough left between us for us to actually have a chance?"

Ryan and Esposito were very curious about what was happening in the break room now. It had been very quiet for a bit. Given that Beckett had a temper like no other, and frankly scared the two of them on a regular basis, they worried that perhaps Castle was in the deep end without a life preserver.

"Think we should go check?" Ryan asked.

"Nah," Esposito replied, though he was worried, too. "If Castle was in real trouble he'd be squealing _**APPLES**_ at the top of his lungs by now. Besides, if nothing is wrong, do you wanna wind up on grunt detail for the rest of our careers?"

"Castle can fend for himself," Ryan said solemnly and went back to his paperwork. With his luck he'd be _**walking**_ a beat 12 hours a day in the worst neighborhood imaginable.

Esposito nodded and got back to work himself. Beckett would make him wish for the days of latrine duty in the Army. He shuddered at those miserable memories from before he was in Special Forces. Yep. Castle could man up and take care of himself on this one. Javier Esposito liked being a detective, after all.

Castle looked at her carefully. The entire conversation had been revealing, but also moving in the right direction. He wanted this to work, but he also knew that they'd been close before and blew it for one reason or another. He figured their honesty agreement needed to be kept, especially on this one.

"I'd like to think there is, and I am here, after all," he told her, the fatigue and stress of the previous three weeks showing in his tone.

"I think so, too," Kate replied, relieved that he was on the same wavelength as her.

"Then let's forget the past year and start again," Castle suggested. "No Josh, no hospital, and no three months away. I love you. I want to be with you. I can't make it any plainer than that, Kate."

"I love you, too," she told him firmly, with no hesitation or trepidation. She held her hand up. "But I want to date you and take this slowly. No jumping into bed, Castle. Much as I know we both want to, I want to know that this is for real and permanent before making that kind of move."

"No more lies?" Castle asked.

"No more lies," she confirmed, knowing he'd had to ask that. She wasn't going to ask the same as he had really been trying to keep her alive. She smiled. "Now, Rick, I think I want to kiss my boyfriend. You think you can handle that?"

Castle grinned like a maniac as he stood up. "I can definitely accommodate you on that one," he assured her, moving forward so he was standing right in front of her where she had stood up.

Kate placed her arms around his neck, pulling him to her as her lips met his, her tongue pushing in and tasting him. A relaxed, mellow sigh escaped her lips as she kissed him. He met her tongue move for move and proved to her that he was a fabulous kisser, though she had known that from the time they had kissed when saving Ryan and Esposito from the hit man. After a long couple of minutes she let him go and stepped back.

"I expect a repeat performance after we have dinner tonight," she told him, adding a wink to tease him.

"No problems there," he told her.

"Now we need to get out of here and let Gates know that we've dealt with things," she told him.

Castle slumped his shoulders. "You just had to ruin the mood by bringing her up, didn't you," he whined.

"I wouldn't be too down on her," Kate told him. She reached over and turned off the oversized tablet computer. "She was the one who made this possible, after all."

Castle straightened. "Then let's go face the music," he told her. "I have a date to arrange, you know."

The walked out of the break room and headed to Gates' office together.

_A/N: There will be a short epilogue posted soon. I hope that this chapter wasn't too much of a let down after the first three. Thank you for all the reviews and continued interest. Gregg._


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you for the great response to the fourth chapter. Here is the epilogue I mentioned. There might be a sequel to this story, but I haven't decided yet. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Captain Gates was in her office when a sharp knock on the door frame got her attention. Looking up she saw that it was Castle and Beckett. She gave them a firm look and glanced down, seeing them holding hands. She didn't show it, but she was pleased that the little conversation had apparently ended well. Leaning back in her chair she motioned them to come in.

"I see you're still alive, Mr. Castle, despite a few shouts of _**Apples**_," she deadpanned.

"Remind me to kill Ryan and Espo," Castle said out the side of his mouth to Beckett.

"Get in line," Beckett replied.

"Unless I'm mistaken, I'm the one whose office you're in," Gates reminded them.

"Sorry, Captain," Castle and Beckett said in unison.

"Since no one is dead and the two of you walked in holding hands, I assume the problem has been resolved," Gates stated.

"For the most part," Castle told her.

"Let me make this perfectly clear," Gates told them firmly. "Your relationship stays out of this precinct. If it doesn't become a problem, then I am not going to do anything to split up this unorthodox partnership. That being said, you are still earning your place here, Mr. Castle. One wrong move and you will no longer be welcome here. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Captain," Castle replied.

"That being said, I am giving you this, with the approval of the Police Commissioner," Gates told him, handing over a small leather pocket folder.

Castle opened it and found an official NYPD identification for an official Civilian Consultant with a badge. His eyes lit up and he showed Beckett who rolled her eyes.

"He's going to be insufferable," Beckett complained.

"Your problem, Detective, not mine," Gates replied with a smile. She'd heard from others about Beckett labeling Castle early on as a nine year old on a sugar rush. "That does not make you a police officer or a detective, Mr. Castle, but it does give an official status to what you do for the NYPD."

"No gun?" Castle asked, looking up from the badge.

"No," Gates and Beckett said together.

"Okay," Castle shrugged.

"I meant what I said you two," Gates told them. "This is your wake up call with a little bit of reality. Now get out of here and get to work," she ordered.

The two of them walked out into the bullpen and over to Esposito and Ryan. The two detectives looked up and waited for the good word.

"I've got a badge!" Castle said excitedly as he flashed the badge triumphantly.

Ryan's and Esposito's jaws fell to the floor.

"Writer Boy's got a badge?" Esposito asked incredulously.

Beckett chuckled. "A badge for an official civilian consultant," she explained. "But no gun."

"Thank God," Ryan said with a sigh of relief. He knew Castle was a damn good backup when the shit hit the fan, but a gun on him all the time? Too risky in his opinion.

"Alright, we've got a case to solve," Beckett said out loud. "What have ya got guys? Our civilian consultant needs to be brought up to speed."

Gates watched as the group stood in front of the murder board, Castle already pointing out some ideas. She smiled. Obviously a good dose of reality was what those two had needed all along. Now she had her precinct back and in working order. She went back into her office pleased she had for once decided to interfere in the lives of her people.

_A/N: There it is. The ending to this one. As I said I am contemplating a sequel to it. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


End file.
